Down the line, she has already forgotten my name
And who I was.
I am the love lost & tossed away lover.
If she should have ever known
How I truly felt about her,
Just maybe you wouldn’t have found
This note tossed away in the deep of the ocean.
You see I was going to mail it to her
And tell her how much my undying love
Never withered from her.
She still holds the passion & the fiery
In my life, but what would that have meant to her.
While I was rolling up this note
To hopefully some pirates would find
And think that a broken heart’s treasure
Could be found.
I guess that doesn’t work right.
That no one will ever know about this
Message in the bottle that would
Drift millions of miles away from
Cape Town harbour.
Ships will pass it; birds would come and rest on it.
So whomever find this, just know.
I might have already found my heart
Somewhere else, while being loveless
And tossed aside by another.
Copyrigh C Davids 21/04/2011
Day 20 of National Poetry Month @ Poetic Asides by the prompt (For today's prompt, write a message in a bottle poem. Imagine that your poem is being rolled up and put in a bottle for someone to read. )
Also for my Entry for Thursday Poets Rally Weeek 42 from Jingle
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My Award for winning National Poetry Month from Jingle, Thanks guys. |
21 comments:
This is so sad... At the same it has such a lovely atmosphere. I could almost smell the sea in the air while reading ;) Beautiful!
Messages in a bottle, as a child I did them and sometimes I got an answer many years later :)
But the beginning of this message here was sad, it ended optimistic though :) Lovely poem!
Oh, that's sad. Maybe it's not too late still, Chim? Ask the protagonist to give it a try, maybe she's just waiting for that scroll, to give in return, one of hers? :)
This is great. I love the thought of happy possibility in the end :)
Love. Loss. You nailed it.
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/04/21/unrelated/
soulful..
well done.
Sad, heart-breaking.. You hit right into the expression and flow.. *eyes misted*
What a lament. Good work, I really enjoyed this.
I pulled you out of the Rally Parking Lot because I recognized your name from PAD posts this month.
Your site is exquisite and I love your Cape Town references.
It's something different, something original.
Light and airy. Sad yet hopeful. Great job!
this is sad but hopeful just the same, saying goodbye but knowing that it is not the end, you will find love again :) nice twist!
Sad emotions, but then they made you appreciate the beauty that will come one day after ... Lovely poem!
great write, great award! my thursday post : http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/06/20/me-before-us/
Sad yet hopeful,that is just the way to be.Loved it! :)
nice! wonderful imagery!
Felt.
Beautiful tale of love, loss and hope. Well done!
sad, love it so much.. a first ~ sweet ~ pour for you to enjoy...
Someone is Special
Very sad poem, I often wonder if people realize the pain they cause another by walking out on them. I know this feeling a little too well, being left behind to ponder over why they left. Great poem, you've brought out the emotions very well.
I was drawn to the title of this piece; "lost and tossed" has such a nice ring, even though it seems inevitable the poem would be filled with such heartbreak. Thanks for sharing this one for the rally!
Very descriptive and touching.
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