A Bend In The Road

Summary 

Where does a story truly begin? In life, there are seldom clear-cut beginnings, those moments when we can, in looking back, say that everything started. Yet there are moments when fate intersects with our daily lives, setting in motion a sequence.

Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Words: 1,990 

Part 1

A Bend In The Road

"You mean the world to me," she says.
Even though my heart is breaking well you can say I have a heart that's on standby. Nobody else can revive me back to the lovable person I used to be. In her absence I start to become stronger like force wanting to get my life back.

As I reflect on my life on the essence of my being, she was everything and also anything. I could listen to her talking forever as I close my eyes longing to see her facial expressions at that moment. She was the love of my life, my dream. She found me at a time when I wasn't sure of anything.

The first time I've met her I knew I was going to fall hopelessly in love. The same week I met her and the continual emails going back and forth, I could feel deep within me was busy stirring feelings for her. I was afraid to tell her, I didn't want to scare her, but before I ever could express my feelings. She told me in a text message that she's got feelings for me more than just friendship. I guess apart of me was overwhelmed and also frightened because she's the very first girl that has told me she has feelings for me.

Addie Howell was having feelings for me and for the first time I gave into my own feelings for her and told her how I feel about her. It was like love at first sight, but this kind of love was the most intense kind of love I've ever felt or had in my entire life.
I told her, "She bends my ruler." Seeing as for years I was dating guys and here this beautiful brown eyed girl comes and changed my entire world.

She was my twin soul, she is my twin soul. Because no matter the distance, the fact that we've been broken up so many times, I've dated others, she's with someone else yet. She can't let me go, just like I can't ever let go.

"I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be." Letting her go a year ago wasn't an easy choice to make, but also couldn't get myself better if I wasn't getting the proper help for my illness.

Our love never died, mine for her, hers for mine. She's now my best friend. Addie moved away and went to go pursue a career in Philippines. Things always seem to take us further apart then bringing us close to one another.

When two persons in love once and still is and yet one of them not doing anything to bring the relationship forward because of fear or a million reasons created just to give excuse not to be with the person she loved. Yet deep in her heart she does love and miss and think of her true love all the time.

Everyday is frustrating to have this kind of love that you don't know if she's going to let you go because I don't understand it at all, I thought I did, I didn't understand as well why she loves me in her heart and won't do anything about it. What she was feeling I was feeling it too and when she misses me, I am missing her too.

Yet I've stepped back and let her go on and be with another without forcing her to be with me. The fact remains whenever I want to try and move on she comes in my mind and I see her feel her, like we have this telepathic
And soul connection that is so strong, that I can feel her even when she's millions of miles away.
Being me at times I thought I was crazy, I couldn't ever recall feeling so much and yet so full of love for a person.

It was about four months ago I met another girl and not long I started creating feelings for her, it wasn't so intense it was like I had a break from having all of Addie inside of me pushing out all kinds of emotions. Carmen was nice enough for me, but she slowly could tell that I wasn't over Addie completely. She would argue over almost everything I write about, she would accuse me of cheating when I wasn't. With Carmen I was different, I treated her different, but mostly I let Carmen use me. I didn't want to say no to her because I didn't want to be alone. The minute I'm alone then I have to deal with my love I'm still holding for Addie.

Songs that remind you of the times you both spend together. All these make it impossible to build on a new love or new relationship and you wonder why this person is haunting you day and night.
It wasn't long Carmen and I broke up, but at least I've tried, I tell myself.

Addie left these words with me just after she started dating again, "My heart is yours, I give it to you, and I am complete for you."

She still tells me that our promise to each other isn't broken. But when she told me two weeks ago that she thinks she's falling for her girl friend. It hurt me because for so long we've still had that bond, that love and calling each other still on individual pet names.
She crept back suddenly and at the most intimate times in the night to remind me of her. Is like you are actually sharing one soul, she can feel whatever you think and feel and is like a part of me.

Yet these words is running through my mind, " How do you look at the woman you love, and tell yourself that its time to walk away?"
Seems easy to say out loud, but also to walk away from your heart is also the most heartbreaking thing to do.
My visions I have of her all says, it's time. That one day if our souls reconnect after years we might find our forever. The forever she once reminded me off.

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2: What Comes Next?

What comes next after the life you thought was your everything disappears. Like no trace of it is there. Besides all the pain we endure, the mistakes and the chapters we keep rewriting, each time I try to write it with a positive note, but then those negative feelings creeps in.
You left with just your thoughts. Scribbling away on paper the pain and the tears of yesteryear. I've been having some storms and I just needed someone to talk too. That would understand me as best as they can. Everything leads up to a certain period where you had it all, but you took it for granted. I took love for granted. I thought it would wait for me, but it ended up leaving me behind. To deal with the fact you were never there.
Then I think about my life and who I am. And in what others wants me to be. It gets hard to live up to there expectations in that type of girlfriend they want you to be. But I am just struggling to believe in it all, to believe that every second of life it changes its course. Then I think about how bad things happen to good people that didn't deserve to get hurt. That it all gets better, I truly am starting to believe in it.
I thought it was a mistake that me talking to you wouldn't bring them back to me.
I was talking to a lady that volunteer at the crises center.
"Tell me what you afraid of." She asked me.
"Failure. Any kind of failure."
Someone once said the only thing worst to lose in this life is my integrity. Well that's the part of me I still have. My integrity to walk with my head held high and faces my adversity. Trust in myself is second to that.
"We struggle, it's apart of life we all living." I understood that.
I thought about it, "The hard part is the loneliness, not having someone to talk too."
That loneliness is black, its what's so scary that there's no magic left in this world. It's all black and grey even the faces of the ones you love there faces seems darker and there eyes seem downwards and there mouths seems skew.
There's this basketball player he lived his dream of playing for the NBA, he had a life dream come true and with one incident that was taken away from him in an instant. He tried for years to recover from his injuries, he worked hard, but at the end he said to his wife, "yes I have lost my dream, but that was a dream based on my talent, but it's you and our son that is worth not playing to end up back where I was where I couldn't walk. So I'll walk away now and keep my legs and live with my dream family."
The big question is this, "THE WHAT COMES NEXT" or "A BEND IN THE ROAD", if you must.
If your entire world gets warped in from under you. She was my dream; I loved her with the same amount of love that she loved me. I fought for her with everything I've had, but it wasn't enough. She wasn't going to come back. She is gone.
"You need to know that when things seem to be the most desperate, people find you. That there's someone out there for you. Just don't give up on the journey you headed and you are not alone."
There's too many pain, too many lost in this world.
What's next for me? Where do I go from here? I've decided the only way for me to go from here is to go within myself. Too find the person who's loved her with all my heart.
What comes next? Finding myself and strengthening and becoming secure within and that hopefully I'll get over her and move on without her. Being happy without being sad all the time.
"How do you look at the woman you love and tell yourself that its time to walk away?" For the sake of everyone and my own sanity I just couldn't standby being Addie Howell's best friend and watch her being with another girl that's not me.
Girls usually say that I runaway most times, but Addie was different I wanted to be the one for her. You can only fight so much for someone until it hits you she isn't coming back to you.
"A bend in the road is not the end of the road…unless you fail to make the turn, but what if there's no turn."


AN:
I wrote this story in May 2012.

The One That Got Away

Sebastian Taylor & Whitney Connor

She was about to do something that she never thought she would be able to manifest as her own dreams of being a doctor fell a part. The hospital she was working for as a receptionist offered a scholarship to do her studies.

The life she had dreamt off was coming to pass. Inside her mind she couldn’t believe that she doubted herself, but it was one person with green sparkling eyes with a jar that any women would drop to the floor. He was the hero in her life, her prince charming the only man she has lost herself and also her innocence and everything connected to him. She fell in love with a rich boy from a well rounded family that lived in Upper- State New York and she was the blonde blue- eyed girl from the down tracks of Louisiana.

A southern with the extract of her voice that sung melodies through his ears. Sebastian was a 25 year old entrepreneur having the company of any women he ever wanted or craved for, but it was a young lady that worked at the hospital his father was head of the board that made him rethink everything he never thought he wanted.

Whitney thought that she wasn’t good enough for him seeing as there was a lot of differences between the two of them. There two year relationship ended abruptly when he asked her to choose between her career as a doctor and going away to Paris to live with him. He was a jet-setter and she was a middle class worker who had to take care of her elderly parents and two siblings.

She always wondered what had happened to him, but it was like he vanished into thin air and never to be heard off.

So here it was three years later and she is finally attending her first class at the University of New York. The introduction went by swiftly as students settled in as the professor starts to write his lecture.

I felt a tap on the left shoulder and as my head swerves more to face the person tapping my shoulder, at first I didn’t want to look behind me. Just to make small conversation with whoever it is, then the other thought was be kind.

As my head face the person, my eyes were like it was going to pop out. Is this real or is it just an a lucid dream that I have been thinking a hell lot more often about that smouldering green eyes that I could stare enough at when they were in my life .

I scrunch my face and the smile on the participant couldn’t have been happier to see me after such a long period.

“I see that you are still the most intense woman as always. Fancy finding you here.” With a smile on his face and getting that fresh minty sensation as he breathes out some air. I couldn’t but almost fell over my chair as he stopped me just in time.

“Sebastian.” I say so softly.

“Finally she remembers my name.” He said it so sweet, I couldn’t even get embarrassed by the people sitting close around us and listening in to our conversation.

“Do you remember mine?”

“Off course, sunshine, there is just something about you over the years I couldn’t forget.” Instantly I didn’t feel like being in this class, I wanted to speak to him more. Also why and how did he know I was in this class? I was lost in my thoughts and didn’t hear him call my name.

When I heard the professor calling names out and I whip to the front as Professor Santiago nodded to get a response out of me.

“I don’t like being disturbed in my lecturers Miss Connor. If you need to be excused you can do so and just ask one of the students for today’s notes. I am sure right now Mr Taylor has other things plan for him sitting in on one of my lectures, right Mr Taylor.” Santiago was becoming to be my favourite lecture no doubt.

“You right about that.” He got up from his chair and walked to the aisle and came to stand next to my desk and showing me his outstretched hand to take.

“Come.” He said and without hesitating I packed my books and shoved them inside my messenger bag. I got up from the chair and took his hand as we both walked up the stairs to the exit.

I couldn’t believe he was here. He took my bag and threw it over his shoulder letting it hang half way across his broad shoulder.

We walked outside into the parking lot as he showed me his car was parked right in front of the reserve parking bays. Still I wasn’t sure how and what he’s really doing here.

How did he find me? There was no trail seeing as I have moved here only recently.

Questions were whirling inside my head that I needed to be answered.

“You don’t have to look so concern, Whit.” He called me on my nickname the one I haven’t allowed other men to use. It was already taken and copyrighted by thee Sebastian Taylor.

“I am not. This just seems out of left field don’t you think. How did you know where I was? Have you been stalking me.” I said with a smile and a sarcastic laugh afterwards.

“Hmm maybe who knows.” He said being all mysterious as he starts up the car and pulled out the parking lot and toward the main road.

I wasn’t afraid or anything just tense a bit that I am here with him driving towards who knows where.

“I hope you don’t mind me taking you to an early lunch.”

“Nah its okay.” I said.

“Whitney it’s me, Sebastian why you sound shy.” He says looking at me then back on the road. As I turn to face him I could see the grin on his face.

“You like doing this to women don’t you.” I said in a voice that sounded unfamiliar to me.

“Well not just any woman.” He said in a cocky voice and that was the thing I fell for the first time. The way he was with me arrogant and in control of everything never allowing him to be submissive to women, but indulging them to a certain degree. I was that naive southern girl at the tender age of 20 when I first laid eyes on him. His masculinity was overpowering my senses and like a little teenager I wanted him to take me, to have me in any way possible.

Then it all fell apart the days after he left was like a piece of me was death. I couldn’t move on I couldn’t stop from thinking what if only I have said yes. Then I thought, but why couldn’t he wait for me, why was it either or. He crushed me and it took me two years after him to finally start dating again. I met Liam Houston a brunette with dark features in way he reminded me of Sebastian, but there was never that connection in our love making, it was like I was disconnected from him in an intimate way.

Liam left with these words, “I don’t know for how much longer I can live in the shadows of your one true love, and I know it’s not me it would never be me. It would always be him and I can’t live with the idea of sharing your heart with another man.” With that he walked out of my life. I have seen him a few times and that was it.

“We here.” He said as the car jerked and came to a full stop. He got out the car and walked around to open my door.

I got out.

He left my bag in his car as he locks up and holds my hand.

As we walk towards the restaurant. He spoke to the receptionist and she called another waiter to show us to our table. He didn’t leave my hand once. Just when he took out the chair for me and went to sit on the other side. Asking the waiter to give us some time to have a look at the menu.

“Isn’t it lovely.” He says.

I took a sip of the water from my glass.

“Yeah I’d say.” He smiles.

“What?”

“You are more beautiful than what I remember.” He said.

The waiter took our order as he left I start to ask him what I needed to know.

“Sebastian I need to know how.” I sat up with my arms crossed over my chest.

“Hmm, it started with the scholarship. You were working for the hospital my dad is the head of the board. I have seen your name in between the application forms on my desk and well the rest is history.” That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

“So the reason I received the scholarship because the guy I once screwed came across my name and I happened to get accepted.” Anger burst throughout me.

“Whitney I wouldn’t do such a thing. I have always known you wanted to be a doctor and if you wanted to know the other applicants wasn’t up the standard my father and myself were looking for. We weren’t going spend thousands of dollars on a freshly graduated student from a high school who doesn’t have the relevant back ground and highly skilled marks we were looking for. Yes I chose you, but not because I once screwed you like you are proclaiming. I am a businessman and I don’t do business decisions with my dick.”  We were attracting a lot of eyes on us as we were going off in a loud tone.

The waiter came back as he told us to lower our voices are else leave.

Then Sebastian took the initiative to be the arrogant ass he can be at times.

“You don’t threaten me in my own restaurant.” He told the guy and the manager came to our table apologizing for the incompetence of his waiter.

They both walked away. I stared at him and I was about to get up from my chair. When he grabbed my wrist from the other side of the table. Sebastian was someone you can never leave alone in a restaurant, he has this notion that nobody walks out of him ever and that goes for everyone.

“Is this how you treat everyone that works for you.” I said. I was starting to regret coming along to this rendezvous with him. As much as I have been thinking about him for sometime, this isn’t what I was looking forward too.

“Just give me a hearing that is all. I will leave you alone after that. I will go away and never bother you ever.” He said with a tone that sounded sincere.

I sat back in my chair and waiting on him to continue.

“I am sorry, Whit. It’s just I have been wanting to see you for such a long time. I came to NYU this morning not because I wanted to sit in on one of your classes. I was there for a meeting and walked right pass Professor Santiago's class . I opened the door and heard your name being called and I searched for you as I scan every head until your hand whipped up and that blonde long hair of yours that was always bouncy I knew I had to see you. I don’t know how I got the courage to enter and come sit right behind you. It was like I didn’t care about the last time we have seen each other and how we ended. It was about me wanting to see you even if it was just for awhile.” He carried on explaining and I was hanging onto every word. Our lunch came and we ended up talking some more. We didn’t think about where we had to be next it was like this was the only place we wanted and needed to be.

He held my hand it was charismatic the way the event happened how we still had that bond, the way we can talk about just anything. I think this is the start of a new beginning.

“Whitney don’t ever leave me again please.”

“I’ll try.” I said.

“I love you. I never stopped.”

“I love you to Sebastian Taylor.”

“You too Whitney Connor.”

The end



A/N : Creative Writing Prompts ~ Heart
 Write a scene that reunites you with the one that got away.
I enjoyed writing this piece i had no struggles with what's too come next, it was like the characters and the opening seen and the ending just fitted.