Today's Devotion- Thankfulness

I am thankful for what God has given me in the last six months. How he had change me from within, even when there were storms that I had to face in my own life and having to lean on GOD for my strength and for giving me a future, a life...This passover is my first year at my recovery. I celebrate life to the fullest since I have been given a second chance. God had remove people from my life and at that stage of my life I wasn't able to understand it all, but now I do. Because He had showed me how to love myself first when others couldn't. To be happy & content with who I am. To realize that it depends on me to get better to persevere and to live out my dreams that God had placed inside my heart. I started to declare on my own life, prophesying and believing that God has a purpose for me. A plan for my life not to hurt me or to let me down, but to raise me up from the depths of the pain & suffering.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Jeremiah 33:6 "'Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.

Our everyday life is a challenge, a pursuit to get to the next level of your spirituality, of the dimensions we travel as we go deeper within ourselves and in finding our highest self. The true me came to the light, from the surface of the place I have hid who I was because of fear of being vulnerable to the world I am living in. I am still striving to find myself and with each storm, test and obstacle life had put on my path, I came to see who I am as a person, friend and a lover. Who I am as a daughter, a cousin, friend even sister. I declare goodness over my relationship, my finance and my home and my family. Finding love after all this time and being loved back. My whole life I was trying to fit in, but all along it took just to look up to the sky hearing God's voice saying you are loved, needed, and above all you are special to so many, but most importantly that I came to be secure within my own soul, and heart and knowing I can Trust God to always show me the right path and never to give up on myself and those I love. God is my first love and having Him being the center of my universe I know I can't go wrong in life.

A bittersweet coffee taste

A bittersweet coffee taste

Caffeine is the flavor of my morning

the flavor I love tasting on your tongue

each morning watching us hold our cups

in our hands as you smile this radiance

of hope filled devotion for me,

but coffee oh bittersweet coffee taste

in my mouth since you have left

it’s all I am tasting the aroma of the

chocolate velvety taste upon

my tongue feels different these days

walking in the morning with a cup

in hand I no longer feel the smile crest

upon my lips as coffee becomes more

more haunting with each passing day.

A writer needs her caffeine filled morning

or how would she be able to function

now that you are gone from her life,

surrendering my love for you and

only you as days get bittersweet

no melodramatic arguments

between lovers throughout the day

surpassing the moments that we’ve just walked up

to each other holding hands

your hand fitted with mine.

My ring upon your finger would

have been magnificent on this

Valentines morning waking up alone

without my smile is something

a bittersweet coffee taste would be.

 © Chimnese Davids, All rights reserved.

  

                  Roses of passionate love 

 

You captured my heart with your golden
brown eyes as you lean over
kissing my cheek with your tender
loving smile placed on my heart I see your face in the
morning I absorbed you
with my love and passion.

© Chimnese Davids, All rights reserved. 

Immortal Love

Immortal Love

1.

Love is not the object of once affection.

But the combination of two or more hearts

finding the beauty in life as they see it.

It’s a love that is conquering and possessing

the object of its affection. Their desire

possess it forever, love is then constant

Never changing as it is a desire for immortality.

Eros the sensual love filled with erosion

passionate in both physical and emotional.

2.

The tyrant heart is beginning to search above

and beyond to seek the immortal love

that it so desperately been searching for,

but as the heart starts to slow down and it

captured them by feeling their spirits

around them as universe and earth

or making way for the two too eventually meet.

3.

As Psyche reached out to find her one true desirable love.

She embarked on a journey beyond the measurable truth

of whom he was. That all she had of him was an arrow.

Wholly she faced the heartache of the knowing

her object of her affection had gone from the earth.

The possessive and obsessive love that tormented

her night and day as she encompasses the dilemma.

4.

Her mind and her body consumed him

the love effervescent and intense

Eros her love for you gives her courage.

There was power beyond what her eyes

can ever see, but knowing that he would

come for her and safe her from a heartbreak

unending until they both become enthralled

5.

The eccentric love they held for the other.

Was both powerful and immense.

A love that would surpass many decades.

 © Chimnese Davids, All rights reserved.

Spanish Guitar

My inspiration came one night as I was slowly playing the chords on my guitar.
I could only imagine the tune that filled the night air as I could get lost in the beauty of the sensation that was stringing through my fingertips.
Spanish guitar you've seen my tears, you've given me hope to carry on for another day. I've made my life fulfilling after the one my heart beats for left me. With you my Spanish guitar those lonely nights turned out to be the best nights of my life.

A mended heart

Tears and pain, heartache and bitterness, lost, alone, memories of unkindness.
One day you look back onto that heartbreak, that shattering never again going to find a love like that sense is dwelling through my mind. Blocking you out like you've never existed, never wanting to see your face or hearing your name your face all summed up one empty painful feeling emotion.

Time passing by, moments becomes manifested as something that you no longer hold on, the grudges, the bitter resentment feelings all run away out of you leaking like blood that no longer serves me any purpose. That's when I realize that I've received a new heart, a mended one that's fixed and ready to enjoy life again.

I see everything clearly now, no more dark passages lurking, no more me against the love- ending hatred that was once not mentioned by myself. I've now found a new beat in my step, a new walk, a new smile on my face, a life worth living with myself the center of it all.

Four Years

They say true romance never dies, yet the heart silently mourns what's been taken away. Through all the years from that first meeting in 2009 when we met, I knew at that very moment that you have done some profound changes within me. The love I've never known then would be the love that carried me through sickness and pain. Our love has never been easy, it’s been hard. The kind of love that won't just die and be forgotten. A year ago we've ended our relationship, but still deep down you're the girl I can still go to and know that you won't turn me away. The one that had been a constant in my life since that day in September. I knew then you were my soul mate, but yet we aren't with each other, sometimes soul mates doesn't always find there way back, but they always there to make sure the other needs a lift. Whenever you call me on the phone something in the both of our voices just sounds happier like a spark gets lighten. I don't know about you, I sometimes ask God. If she's not for me why is it that we are still in each others lives? When you told me you aren't over me, but you also said that we can't be. It doesn't hurt so much as before because I know what's inside my heart. I know that we are happier with how our lives have shaped. We will be better prepared for something more in the future, but if destiny doesn’t bring us back together, at least I've known what true love meant.

Author Note: This is a piece I have written yesterday while being enthralled by the muse of Love and Bliss.  I am sure there are many people out there who had found a love that was similar, a love that has been a constant, where that one person is still in your life and you became very good friends.. This is my story about my soul mate even though we are no longer together we are a vital part of each others lives.

My First Book Edition

Today my first ebook was published through lulu.com http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/fallenwingz.
The book is about unrequited love.  A heartbroken girls letters to her former lover entrusting her heart in these letters. When I started this project over a year ago I was mainly writing not just to my soulmate, but to many others out there who's been in love and lost there first love.

My Unrequited Love Letters

By Chimnese Davids

eBook (ePub for Adobe Digital Editions)

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This book is about unrequited love. A heartbroken girl's letters to her former lover, entrusting her heart in these words. When I started this project over a year ago, I was mainly writing not just to my soul mate, but to hopefully someone else will come across it who felt the same pain I have.

Available in ePub for Adobe Digital Editions Format

What's the difference between formats?

Journey Home

Journey Home

I can only watch people pass me by, and know in some way they leave you with something behind, perhaps a memory or two. It's not about me losing them from my life, but it is a momentum of having been apart of their journeys. Our journeys shapes us into the form God wants us to be, to be able to fill our purpose in life. I am grateful for every person who has had an impact or some sort of life lesson I had to learn from them. People aren't meant to always stay in our lives, they do have other journeys to travel, and like me the ones that has left my life, is God's way to clear my life for new people to enter. We are not tied to anyone, not even our soulmates/twinflames/love of our lives. I have shown them love so they could carry on in their lives to show someone else love. In the depth of my soul/heart I know that a part of these people who's gone will stay with me for a number of years and as each day,week,month,year will move forward those memories would dissipate, but I believe that one day when I am old and happy with someone else that I have met along the path of my life, I will have a smile upon my lips and in that moment I will have a memory of someone I once loved and know that they are happy wherever they might be in their lives and while I am off drifting overlooking the beautiful lake outside my window, my beautiful wife will accompany me and tell me how beautiful I am. Even though the years have stretched, I grew into a beautiful elderly lady in her early sixties enjoying the peacefulness since our daughters and son moved on with there own lives.

This is my story 31 years from now, this would be my happy ending that God has promised me that one day he will send me someone that he has in store for me. At this point I will be a published author that has written books in numbers and that is the best dream I know and certainly worth the wait.

It was one winter’s morning as she stood inside of her kitchen overlooking the lake. It was one of the most exquisite views she has ever known. Especially since it was all hers and she had no intention to share this lake with anyone, but there was someone else beside her. Another person that she has met when she was 31 years old. She was from London, and the minute they set there eyes on each other it was love at first sight. It was something that Autumn never imagines could happen to her again. Her heart was broken after her first love has left and made a life with another. Even though Autumn kept telling herself that Grace meant nothing to her anymore that she has moved on people didn’t believe her. Reason why that was each book Autumn came out with was a tale of a lover being jaded her heart on her sleeve mourning a relationship that was once making her happy.

It was a blue eyed woman from London on her back pack through Europe in her early 30’s that has brought the lonely novelist to change her life and hoping that she will find happiness not just in her writing, but also her heart.

Jenna Huntington was 30 years of age never thought that she would fall in love with another woman, but it was the slightly tan skin woman from a different continent that has made Jenna believe that love carries no gender or age difference, that love is what you feel in your heart and nothing or anyone can ever take that away from her. When she met Autumn she couldn’t understand how a beautiful woman like herself was alone and always deep in thought. When I met her the first time at her book signing whilst later I found out she was actually backpacking through my country and also had an upcoming book she released. I have always read her books and buying them online, it’s not that I didn’t know who Autumn, the writer was, but it was days after meeting her at small pub not to far from where I was working. That was the day I actually introduced myself and conversing with her in conversation about literature, art and life I came to find out that she was a deep person that she holds so many things inside of her. Never opening up or letting another person to meet the indescribable person she was.
The effect to open yourself to another allows you into another person’s world and opens you up to perceiving their goodness. At the same time I was also investing apart of myself to her, enabling to love her the same way I loved myself.

It didn’t take Jenna long too decide what she wanted from that point on. The period that Autumn was in town they made it a point to dine and wine as much as they could, with Jenna’s work obligations and Autumn pursuing a lifetime dream of broadens her career world wide, London didn’t sound like a bad place to start doing this at all. When I met Jenna and found out she was an editor and loved most of the things I did, I knew I was send here for a reason I didn’t knew at that time, but this woman was predestined for me by the most high. My spiritual life has been my only lifelong relationship as it has never let me down over the years. At the age of 29 I had many things to overcome as I was torn between my life and another woman, Grace. I have loved her so very much, but it was inevitable I had to accept the fact that our love story was finally over when she met another woman. It took me a year afterwards for me to understand that sometimes love won’t last. There was a song at that time, Poison & Wine that I came to love at that point because the meaning of the lyrics spoke directly to my heart.

Sometimes you can love a person, but also there are certain things within that relationship that didn’t work out, so then you set out to live apart, but the love is ambivalent in their love with one another. They are unable to live without one another, but staying together is too painful. As much as they hate each other, they love each other that much more. It’s an addicting type of love that they are unable to control. The one manipulates the other and they both can because they both know how to deal with each other, because as hard as it is to be with each other it is even harder to be without. 

With Jenna it was different, it was unexpected and it was what I really needed in my life. My lonely nights was gone and forgotten because for the first time she made me want to live in a new country knowing that I wasn’t going to feel alone even when she was doing her own thing at times. Deep, intimate love emanates from the knowledge and giving it doesn’t come overnight, but overtime. Which means years after marriage?
That intensity you feel when you are in oneness with your own spirit and that of another being. That is when I knew I have found my soul mate. We both sewn the seeds of love and each time we say, “I love you” I can feel it coming from deep within that for once in my life I have not just been completed, but also that we both have grown spiritually connected.

Jenna has told me once this was just when we celebrated our 20 years together as a couple and as parents. She said, “A relationship has its ups and downs, but the downs can be really low and when you’re in one, you have three choices, leave, stay in a loveless relationship or choose to love your spouse.” I asked her which ones have she found with me.
She said, “Through everything you have been through in your life before me had a reflection on who I would be marrying, but I saw something more in you that the others never saw. They looked at your flaws and your imperfections, yet still tried to change you into how they want to love you. But I love you for all those things and so much more. Even when we do have our quarrels I know at the end we still love each other and that is why I am here with you and married to you and loving you for who you are.” My tears was falling down my face because she loves me and she never once said any foul words to me, not out of anger or anything else.
It was in this moment, this beautiful magnificent moment that I knew that this is my “Home”, that this woman beside me is my life and the fact that we are each others best friends and that God is our father. The realism of all that was once said about love and the meaning of love that you can love many people. You will fall in love with people, but there will come a time in your life when you just know that this person was created by the most high.

Our Vows
Today I stand here in front of all the people who love us and making this statement in honouring you as my partner in life. I have always said that I want to write my own vows and tell you how I feel about you, but I rather just say one word, “lost” I was lost before I met you. I was always searching for one significant moment in my life, and that moment was when I met you.
I found you Jenna, I fought hard to keep you, and you saved me. The day my world became clearer was the day you fixed my heart and in doing so I knew that people weren’t always going to leave. You made me feel again.
Jenna’s Vows

Autumn today I am just stating what has been in my heart since the very moment I have laid eyes on you. I didn’t even know that the intensity of our love would grow into something so beautiful, yet at times also confusing. I wont say that it has been an easy walk till today, but I can say this that it is worth it and it will be a blessing to know that we will be there for each other through out the decades. This isn’t just a marriage, it is a lifetime bond that we have come to and we will never be against each other, but for each other. We will lead God be our counsellor in times of troubles and we will always make it our duty to honour Him and bless our family. You’ve changed my life and I am glad that you chose me to share your life with. I love you from today onwards.

This is my journey, my home into finding a love story that was designed and created by God our father.

The End

Your love in scripted in words

I came across an old book you’ve given me years ago for our first anniversary. My fingertips grazed the words that were scribbled with black ink.

I forgot to remember that you always did that leaving me beautiful notes in books.

But it was the words that you said that brought a tear to my eyes.

You wrote: “Love is a very special thing that not many people truly experience in their lifetime. It is something that connects two people, like some hidden force that draws you to one person, the only person you want to be around. The sad thing is many people mistake lust for love and tries to disguise what they have as being love. Love is such a powerful thing that it could make people the happiest, everyone in the world wants to find it, but sometimes they never do. I have found the person I am in love with and I hope and pray that I’m the right person for you.

"The Definition of Love"

We all have different views
On what love truly defines
This is what I think
It means that you care
Enough to fight for someone
And I love you enough
not to let you go!
Unless you don't share this
 unconditional love for me.
I will love you enough
To let you go and
I'll go find happiness somewhere
Else where it is returned.
 You should also know this
I love myself enough to
Be with someone else who
Can love me unconditionally just
The way I love you.



Leo of I Rhyme Without Reason gave me a challenge , "I want you to write a free verse poem with no more than Five words to a line."

Remember

Remember

I remember how you loved me

With fears and insecurities you have enveloped me

Touched my face and I have become solid,

The first touch of your lips on mine

Was like firing exploding mine,

You took my breathe away

This poem it might sound cliche,

How something good went so easily shattering.

It’s like every memory is stored within,

Lifting me off the ground as I hear your words,

Becoming ugly towards me,

I remember how it used to be.

Two people happy and cheerful,

Couldn’t stop starring in each others' eyes.

How things have changed in such a short while.

Couldn’t wait to hear your voice over the phone,

Couldn’t bare to wait another minute longer to receive

A reply back from you.

Each day I use to wake up happy knowing I’ll be talking to you.

How did we end up being these two people?

Who have become strangers in such a short period of time?

Our late night chats, our on going flirting.

I remember who we once were, but we aren’t those people

Anymore that happy couple who always were each others pillars.

I remember and I will never forget how you loved me.

© Chimnese Davids, All rights reserved.

Remnants of our love affair.

Trails and tribulations is apart of life, It was apart of our lover’s quarrels

When I look back to the things the life I wish we could have had,

I use to feel depressed, hooked on medication of all sorts to get through

My days as sleep never came.

there you were going behind my back

As you start a new love affair with a friend it broke me .every vessel

Of my soul that once loved you., but you know what you have teach

Me a lesson about myself. I saw who I once was through your actions.

When I betrayed you with a friend,

When I lived with the guilt of hurting you

So deeply that I fallen into heavy depression.

I sometimes wander if others are so lucky like I have been,

How God just removed you out of my life,

I read a poem of Leonard Cohen, He’s heart was deeply bruised by a women

He wrote a book about longing. Months after you have denied me,

Pushed me aside like a piece of rubbish that has no use to you,

Yesterday you send me a song, “What about love”.

Those lyrics proved to me that you have been taking revenge on what I did.

After months of asking you to forgive me. You never did, until I closed off my heart to you.

You are right I have been hiding, not showing

You or her hurt I was in.

You tell me if I don’t want someone to care about me.

What about love, but all I can remember is the remnants of our love affair being over.

Valentine's Day ~ 14 February 2012

"Love"

Today I write about "Love"

The words that's been on most of our lips and minds in February.

Some of us go out of our way to make this one-day in February memorable for their partner.

You know I've realized not just now, but before I started to celebrate this day with people I've loved.

I'd go out of my way to make someone else's day epic, do the whole flowers, chocolates and dinner the whole Valentine's Day celebration.

But that doesn't proof anything to me about what Valentines Day says about love.

Does Valentine or St. Valentine was about a guy who lost his life due to someone he truly loved.  A tragic fateful love story.

Love to me is someone who loves me not for what I can do, but for the love I have for him or her.

Yet that too also doesn’t proof much.

It’s two years ago I wrote this poem about love.

Then I went to search deeper, I wanted to know what God says about love. Until I came across one of my best scriptures in the book of Corinthians chapter 13.

"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. "

My own words love is kindness not just for one day on Valentines Day where we put out anger aside.

Love doesn't envy. No jealousy should be inside you. Its not boastful it holds no evil, it hasn't have an ego. Love should be equal, honorable, loyal, trustful, and respectful.

Love should be everything that comes out of you.

In securities isn't love.

Hatred isn't love.

Like they say there’s a thin line between love and hate.

Love should be gentle, freely given.

I believe love conquers all.

Why just show your loved one that she or he is loved on the 14th of February 2012, why not love yourself more each day so that when you with the one you love they'll know they are loved by you.

It will be in your eyes that glow that smile. Everything about them is love.

Love is universal, its something we all want in this life because without it we would feel that we lack something within us.

God is love. He loves us no matter our faults or mistakes.

Sometimes I wonder what if I do something wrong would my girlfriend forgive me. Will she accept that's who I am? And love me no matter what.

She might not, but I would know God's love is forever and infinity.

He loves me unconditionally that's why I love that scripture.

Ever wondered why at weddings after couples to be wed have this reading done.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres."

Like the song by Brandon Heath, Love Never Fails.

Love is not proud

Love does not boast

Love after all

Matters the most

Love does not run

Love does not hide

Love does not keep

Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through

Love never fails you

Love will sustain

Love will provide

Love will not cease

At the end of time

Love will protect

Love always hopes

Love still believes

When you don't

Love is the arms that are holding you

Love never fails you

When my heart won't make a sound

When I can't turn back around

When the sky is falling down

Nothing is greater than this

Greater than this

Love is right here

Love is alive

Love is the way

The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through

Love is the arms that are holding you

Love is the place you will fly to

Love never fails you

                                                        ---------------------

Love is out there; all you have to do is open your heart to the possibility of it.

It’s free as a bird, no price to pay.

If God's loves for us are free. Why should we have one day in our lives to tell our loved ones that we love them? "I Love You" once I said those words I held it true.

Universally today is about love. Enjoy it, embrace it and no matter if you far or near from your loved ones today just know you're in their thoughts. Those fighting for the safety of their countrymen, those working far away. Even those close by.

To all my followers, bloggers, friends, family.

Have a blessed and happy Valentine's Day.

God Bless