Wednesday, October 24, 2012 | By: Chim's World of Literature

The One That Got Away

Sebastian Taylor & Whitney Connor


She was about to do something that she never thought she would be able to manifest as her own dreams of being a doctor fell a part. The hospital she was working for as a receptionist offered a scholarship to do her studies.
The life she had dreamt off was coming to pass. Inside her mind she couldn’t believe that she doubted herself, but it was one person with green sparkling eyes with a jar that any women would drop to the floor. He was the hero in her life, her prince charming the only man she has lost herself and also her innocence and everything connected to him. She fell in love with a rich boy from a well rounded family that lived in Upper- State New York and she was the blonde blue- eyed girl from the down tracks of Louisiana.
A southern with the extract of her voice that sung melodies through his ears. Sebastian was a 25 year old entrepreneur having the company of any women he ever wanted or craved for, but it was a young lady that worked at the hospital his father was head of the board that made him rethink everything he never thought he wanted.
Whitney thought that she wasn’t good enough for him seeing as there was a lot of differences between the two of them. There two year relationship ended abruptly when he asked her to choose between her career as a doctor and going away to Paris to live with him. He was a jet-setter and she was a middle class worker who had to take care of her elderly parents and two siblings.
She always wondered what had happened to him, but it was like he vanished into thin air and never to be heard off.

So here it was three years later and she is finally attending her first class at the University of New York. The introduction went by swiftly as students settled in as the professor starts to write his lecture.
I felt a tap on the left shoulder and as my head swerves more to face the person tapping my shoulder, at first I didn’t want to look behind me. Just to make small conversation with whoever it is, then the other thought was be kind.
As my head face the person, my eyes were like it was going to pop out. Is this real or is it just an a lucid dream that I have been thinking a hell lot more often about that smouldering green eyes that I could stare enough at when they were in my life .
I scrunch my face and the smile on the participant couldn’t have been happier to see me after such a long period.
“I see that you are still the most intense woman as always. Fancy finding you here.” With a smile on his face and getting that fresh minty sensation as he breathes out some air. I couldn’t but almost fell over my chair as he stopped me just in time.
“Sebastian.” I say so softly.
“Finally she remembers my name.” He said it so sweet, I couldn’t even get embarrassed by the people sitting close around us and listening in to our conversation.
“Do you remember mine?”
“Off course, sunshine, there is just something about you over the years I couldn’t forget.” Instantly I didn’t feel like being in this class, I wanted to speak to him more. Also why and how did he know I was in this class? I was lost in my thoughts and didn’t hear him call my name.
When I heard the professor calling names out and I whip to the front as Professor Santiago nodded to get a response out of me.
“I don’t like being disturbed in my lecturers Miss Connor. If you need to be excused you can do so and just ask one of the students for today’s notes. I am sure right now Mr Taylor has other things plan for him sitting in on one of my lectures, right Mr Taylor.” Santiago was becoming to be my favourite lecture no doubt.
“You right about that.” He got up from his chair and walked to the aisle and came to stand next to my desk and showing me his outstretched hand to take.
“Come.” He said and without hesitating I packed my books and shoved them inside my messenger bag. I got up from the chair and took his hand as we both walked up the stairs to the exit.
I couldn’t believe he was here. He took my bag and threw it over his shoulder letting it hang half way across his broad shoulder.
We walked outside into the parking lot as he showed me his car was parked right in front of the reserve parking bays. Still I wasn’t sure how and what he’s really doing here.
How did he find me? There was no trail seeing as I have moved here only recently.
Questions were whirling inside my head that I needed to be answered.
“You don’t have to look so concern, Whit.” He called me on my nickname the one I haven’t allowed other men to use. It was already taken and copyrighted by thee Sebastian Taylor.
“I am not. This just seems out of left field don’t you think. How did you know where I was? Have you been stalking me.” I said with a smile and a sarcastic laugh afterwards.
“Hmm maybe who knows.” He said being all mysterious as he starts up the car and pulled out the parking lot and toward the main road.
I wasn’t afraid or anything just tense a bit that I am here with him driving towards who knows where.
“I hope you don’t mind me taking you to an early lunch.”
“Nah its okay.” I said.
“Whitney it’s me, Sebastian why you sound shy.” He says looking at me then back on the road. As I turn to face him I could see the grin on his face.
“You like doing this to women don’t you.” I said in a voice that sounded unfamiliar to me.
“Well not just any woman.” He said in a cocky voice and that was the thing I fell for the first time. The way he was with me arrogant and in control of everything never allowing him to be submissive to women, but indulging them to a certain degree. I was that naive southern girl at the tender age of 20 when I first laid eyes on him. His masculinity was overpowering my senses and like a little teenager I wanted him to take me, to have me in any way possible.
Then it all fell apart the days after he left was like a piece of me was death. I couldn’t move on I couldn’t stop from thinking what if only I have said yes. Then I thought, but why couldn’t he wait for me, why was it either or. He crushed me and it took me two years after him to finally start dating again. I met Liam Houston a brunette with dark features in way he reminded me of Sebastian, but there was never that connection in our love making, it was like I was disconnected from him in an intimate way.
Liam left with these words, “I don’t know for how much longer I can live in the shadows of your one true love, and I know it’s not me it would never be me. It would always be him and I can’t live with the idea of sharing your heart with another man.” With that he walked out of my life. I have seen him a few times and that was it.

“We here.” He said as the car jerked and came to a full stop. He got out the car and walked around to open my door.
I got out.
He left my bag in his car as he locks up and holds my hand.
As we walk towards the restaurant. He spoke to the receptionist and she called another waiter to show us to our table. He didn’t leave my hand once. Just when he took out the chair for me and went to sit on the other side. Asking the waiter to give us some time to have a look at the menu.
“Isn’t it lovely.” He says.
I took a sip of the water from my glass.
“Yeah I’d say.” He smiles.
“What?”
“You are more beautiful than what I remember.” He said.
The waiter took our order as he left I start to ask him what I needed to know.
“Sebastian I need to know how.” I sat up with my arms crossed over my chest.
“Hmm, it started with the scholarship. You were working for the hospital my dad is the head of the board. I have seen your name in between the application forms on my desk and well the rest is history.” That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
“So the reason I received the scholarship because the guy I once screwed came across my name and I happened to get accepted.” Anger burst throughout me.
“Whitney I wouldn’t do such a thing. I have always known you wanted to be a doctor and if you wanted to know the other applicants wasn’t up the standard my father and myself were looking for. We weren’t going spend thousands of dollars on a freshly graduated student from a high school who doesn’t have the relevant back ground and highly skilled marks we were looking for. Yes I chose you, but not because I once screwed you like you are proclaiming. I am a businessman and I don’t do business decisions with my dick.”  We were attracting a lot of eyes on us as we were going off in a loud tone.
The waiter came back as he told us to lower our voices are else leave.
Then Sebastian took the initiative to be the arrogant ass he can be at times.
“You don’t threaten me in my own restaurant.” He told the guy and the manager came to our table apologizing for the incompetence of his waiter.
They both walked away. I stared at him and I was about to get up from my chair. When he grabbed my wrist from the other side of the table. Sebastian was someone you can never leave alone in a restaurant, he has this notion that nobody walks out of him ever and that goes for everyone.
“Is this how you treat everyone that works for you.” I said. I was starting to regret coming along to this rendezvous with him. As much as I have been thinking about him for sometime, this isn’t what I was looking forward too.
“Just give me a hearing that is all. I will leave you alone after that. I will go away and never bother you ever.” He said with a tone that sounded sincere.
I sat back in my chair and waiting on him to continue.
“I am sorry, Whit. It’s just I have been wanting to see you for such a long time. I came to NYU this morning not because I wanted to sit in on one of your classes. I was there for a meeting and walked right pass Professor Santiago's class . I opened the door and heard your name being called and I searched for you as I scan every head until your hand whipped up and that blonde long hair of yours that was always bouncy I knew I had to see you. I don’t know how I got the courage to enter and come sit right behind you. It was like I didn’t care about the last time we have seen each other and how we ended. It was about me wanting to see you even if it was just for awhile.” He carried on explaining and I was hanging onto every word. Our lunch came and we ended up talking some more. We didn’t think about where we had to be next it was like this was the only place we wanted and needed to be.
He held my hand it was charismatic the way the event happened how we still had that bond, the way we can talk about just anything. I think this is the start of a new beginning.
“Whitney don’t ever leave me again please.”
“I’ll try.” I said.
“I love you. I never stopped.”
“I love you to Sebastian Taylor.”
“You too Whitney Connor.”

The end



A/N : Creative Writing Prompts ~ Heart
 Write a scene that reunites you with the one that got away.
I enjoyed writing this piece i had no struggles with what's too come next, it was like the characters and the opening seen and the ending just fitted.
Thursday, October 18, 2012 | By: Chim's World of Literature

Connections



Connections


In the long journey I've travelled through times of hardships and endure the sufferings of my actions.
I've come to know who I am in this journey and I've also been reflecting on things I've come to understand about the human race. That we are all connected through certain planes. It’s not just through bloodlines but its more than that it’s something supernatural.
It happened so that we as a being have many dimensions. I am not just a human with a flesh, but I have many dimensions and so the journey starts for me, that if I've moved 2years ago to Philippines I wouldn't have known my spiritual dimension. If I've never let go of my first and second relationships I wouldn't have known the depth of love for them and using that love not to break me as it did, but to use it as a basis to find out what's within me. Who am I?
In the last 2 years I've come face to face with many dimensions of my SELF. The broken vessel I once was, was holding me back from progressing in life, I held onto my previous relationships afraid that if I let go, I'd lose who I became while I was with them. Never knowing that I was taking something very valuable from myself. Firstly my happiness, my dreams, and my aspirations I was even taking away people from myself.
Then in 2011 those dimensions was attacked from within. My lack of self confidence, my personality, my character. The human flesh I've been trying to heal was a waste of time because I had too many hidden emotions that I couldn't connect to my soul and to the spiritual realm of my other dimension. The pure dimension that wasn't coming through.
I gave over to the flesh and my link to the spirit world disconnected.
In doing so my flesh feeding my mind that I need lots of people around me and that's how I'd be happy, that I must find relationships that I wouldn't have to deal with my own issues instead focus on these relationships so that I know I'll be needed and wanted and I'd receive all the applauses.
You know what I lied to myself thinking I had it all under control. I had the so called best relationships and they would love me forever and ever. Even though I did fall in love and I did want to move to Philippines and make that dream we've had of marriage and family. I came to only understand that my own plans wasn't full proof and my own desires won't come to pass if I'm in the flesh, three of my relationships ended up really bad for me, the last one used me so much that I believed the lie that this person  fed my mind for 4 months.
That is where I started to realize that the flesh is harming me and I needed to go back not to who I was before I met them, but who I was when God first entered my life. It was that dimensions in the last year between 2011 and 2012 that was faced down on my face having to come face to face with my old version the many faces of that being and asking for forgiveness for His mercy.
My journey it was heavy, it was stormy it was raining thunder and lightning strike at me and that's when I knew if I don't take this  as a sign I'd never know what it is to be healed or happy or to feel joy.
We are here in 2012 my journey; my dimensions of who I am came to be full circle. The healing started and if I didn't connect to the spiritual realm, to the universe I wouldn't have known Chimnese.
I have a book out a journey that I was able to walk with God. I believe that if I wasn't full made by His supernatural powers. If I've not let go of those people, relationships or groups of people I wouldn't have come to meet this dimension I am now. The people I know in my life now was meant to come in my life, and if I've held onto the people from the past I'd miss out on the beautiful connections I've met now.
We are all connected through the spiritual realm, we might not have met the other in person, but in other dimensions we have. Like the new people I've met on Sunday at my book launch, an instant connection happened because I didn't feel uneasy around these people. It was like in another dimension we've met, it was God ordained that's why. The whole journey was ordained by the most high. That if we acquire relationships that are man made it wouldn't be so powerful that your spirit feels at ease. When I feel that my spirit is comfortable that's when I know I am meant to be at this place at this exact moment in time. That I've travelled through planes and spaces to get to that pivotal moment in my life. Where I know like they say in Afrikaans, "dis vol bring" and it. Definitely is but I know that I am who I am because I've connected to the spirit of God and God's supernatural powers lives within us no matter who I was or where I came from, what matters is that you never let the flesh over take your life.
I'm still going to be travelling through my dimensions and planes and God my father, my spiritual growth will grow in stages.
I am on a journey and love me for all my imperfections. I'm loved and I'm happy and knowing that all this came together when one night I had the encounter in my bedroom with the most high father.
God is love.
Monday, October 15, 2012 | By: Chim's World of Literature

What's Gone Is Gone

I needed to let out all of this and the only way I know how is to come on my blog and let it all out my system. Ever since my book presentation that took place finally after a long awaited and disapointments and eventually my book got launched, but that isn't why I am doing this or feeling like I am being transported back to my childhood and how my family had been discussing the underlying truth of this book.

The book wasn't about myself or my life, yet people see they can retrieve traces of the little girl I once was, and so it ended up about the inexplicable unseen father that wasn't a constant in my life and how he now regards that he had been attacked by my mother's friend who by the way doesn't know him or have met him until yesterday afternoon. Which she quoted from the book that she can relate to the book because she herself was a single parent and that my mother raised me on her own with help from her parents and my father was not around. That statement alone is completely true, my dad was not active in my life, the times I would see him was when he was drunk and i always thought perhaps he only had the courage to face me when he was in his drunken state.

Since very young my grandfather he was the man I called father and the only father figure I have had since I was a baby until my grandfather passed away I had no father figure and nobody replaced that role even though at this point my relationship with my biological father didn't exist it still doesn't because he's still a stranger to me and now he is trying to tell me I should ask my mother the truth. "What truth" why would my mother lie to me for 29 years and why for 29 years he was still not trying to build a relationship, he's trying now but I am all grown up and I don't need a father because my father is God. Who has never thrown me out his life or abandoned me and neglected me.

Sometimes I think parents are trying to use there children like they want to make the one bad against the other.
I am 29 and I have finally found my peace and asked forgiveness and letting the past of my father go with it.
Why now he wants to be the victim when I was the victim for the years till I was 21. After I turned 21 I completely cut myself off my father because he was never a  feature in my life so why would I want to put myself out and hurting myself.
Why can't him and his family just stay away from me and why drag me down each time.
That is what my title says, "What's gone is gone" leave it in the past where it belongs I have dealt with it.

This is me I am done with it. “Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back. You're done. It doesn't necessarily mean that you want to have lunch with the person. If you keep hitting back, you stay trapped in the nightmare...”
Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
Friday, October 5, 2012 | By: Chim's World of Literature

Legacy Story Stats on fanfiction.net

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Thursday, October 4, 2012 | By: Chim's World of Literature

Tear Drops



It's a race down the face of such beauty,
Silent tear drop was rolling,
I wish she wouldn't allow my drops
To be wasted perhaps all humans gets sad
Now and then, I've been running
Down her cheeks the entire day,
The minute I get half way to her lips
She wipes me off,
But not long one of my siblings
Be going further then her nose,
I've been sitting here in her hazel brown eyes
Whole day as I was thinking
How come she cries so much today
Usually she's happy and uplifting,
She amaze me on days when
I hear the laughter from her soul.
But today me and my siblings
Have been rolling down her cheeks,
If only I could take my droplets
And embrace her with arms wide,
And tell her don't be so sad
It will all be okay tomorrow,
I remember when she was
Going through heartache,
My drops would fall to the floor,
She wouldn't wipe me off,
Sometimes I know I taste salty,
I wondered how though,
But she's such a beautiful soul.
I don't want her to cry
because I can't bear losing
my drops to the floor.
Please let her stop the tears.


I am joining in on Heather Grace Stewart , Just Write Wednesday. Today’s challenge: write a piece using Personification, as I did in The Wind. Personification is giving an inanimate object human qualities, feelings, actions, or characteristics.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012 | By: Chim's World of Literature

It's Finally Here

Breaking Dawn Part 2

I call it Epic.... with the ness.
Epicness is when you're watching something epic, and suddenly your body starts tingingling

It could be when you're watching a movie, or in a game when something awesome happens, or when your watching something and suddenly some epic music starts

 To describe something that is so amazing that no other word is able to describe its awesomeness.

Stephanie Meyer, has done the best possible way to let this dream become what it has, the characters in her book is feel good, the angst, the anticipation, the protoganist, the love triangle with Bella, Edward & Jacob has been the first taste of my turning point in this book/movie...since i was introduced to the first book Twilight in 2009, i read it and fell in love with almost every part of the story line.
 And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…What a stupid lamb. What a sick, masochistic lion. (Edward, Bella)
  “It’s not like love at first sight, really. It’s more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it’s not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that’s a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother.”

When Jacob said this it reminded me of my own triangle 2 years ago, how this person can make you feel, you would be anything they want you to be...

 “All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings of a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was - my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self - disconnected from me in that second - snip, snip, snip - and floated up into space.”

I love the depth of Jacob Black's quotes, the way he has been in love with Bella from the start and how he just wanted her to take a chance on him, just to see what is there besides Edward...

Edward is any girls hero, his got good looks have this unique voice with a soft whisper out of old Noir Film, and that is what Bella fell in love with..
The epic love story of Twilight is coming to an end, the romance, the love triangle finally ending and finding who she is and what she always wanted Edward.
 “But it's possible to love more than one person at a time, Bella. I've seen it in action.”
  “He was right – she was beating herself up about hurting his feelings. The girl was a classic martyr. She’d totally been born in the wrong century. She should have lived back when she could have gotten herself fed to some lions for a good cause.”
 This is entire series is about falling in love, teenage first loves, crushes, triangle, but in all it comes down to this, can true love over come even the supernatural, the things that is beyond our imagination, pouring out a love like this its something that will live on with me, because I can relate to the things happening in this series besides the vampires, if you look beyond who they are it is that love has no boundaries, we can love whoever we want too...shape, size,race, gender should not matter, because the heart wants what it wants...
I would say go watch this movie on the 16 November 2012. I waited a whole year for this finale and it is going to be epic....

Tuesday, October 2, 2012 | By: Chim's World of Literature

Happy Treasures

It's been long since I have done a entry on my blog, I am still here my fellow bloggers, still doing the best I can in everything that comes my way.
This has been a year full of miracles, I can't believe that when God said in January 2012, "Be the miracle" he definitely meant each word that he had been ministering to me, from where I have been to who I am right now, he did wonders.
last night I wrote this peom

Tear tracks
 
 God in my silence I speak to you,
I'm reaching out for a way out
Of this pressure that's coming
Against me, but I know
That you are there for me
Through all the ups and downs
Through all the pain,
The suffering, the nights
I laid awake hoping
That if I wake tomorrow
That you going to be there
Reaching for my hand.
I would have lost my mind
If it had not been for you
To see me and looking
Inside of my soul,
Because of you, you carried
Me through my past,
I know I am stronger,
I am better, I've made it
Thus far and I know that
You're going to take me
To more places that I've
Not seen yet.
God I've been better
If I didn't have you by
My side I don't know
Where I'd be.
I'm stronger, I am wiser
When I look back
At what you brought me through
I'm so much better,
So much love that rise
From my soul.
Never could have made it.


I am happy with who I am right now, sometimes i feel pressurized by life and the day to day things i have to do, like work, my career as a published author, being there for my loved ones, I wonder the other day if God had plan for me to go through this without my special someone, in the depths of my heart i want to meet someone, someone that would be a blessing and a new hope , but then again i feel so much stronger on my own, like there is nothing that can stop me, i feel blessed in every parts of my life... My life, my testimony i hope it can help someone out there that is going through similar pains inside of them, that we are sometimes to hard on ourselves and don't give our selves enough credit, i am a good person i know that now that it wasn't my intention to hurt the ones i loved, but i hope even they can find there inner joy....

I walk upon this world not like an ordinary being, i feel like i am created by God to help the ones who can't i am not an eloquent speaker, but give me a book and a pen and i can complete the emotions that i am feeling that i can not convey in vocal....
Life happens and it can make you into a person you sometimes don't know...the person i was before i became healed was someone i couldn't bare living with, there were times i felt that who i am wasn't me that i felt for a long time out of place, but right now a year into my healing and my spiritual connection growing i finally came to know who i am as a person, i use to need people around me to tell me that i am a worthwhile, beautiful being, but ever since i started loving myself i now don't need outside forces to pat my beauty or telling me how i am...
I know that I am loved by God, my father and my friend he is everything to me...sometimes i do get to that point where my own plans once to enter but he slowly let me know that Chimnese, I am the father and I know the best plan for your life..

"Muses of wandering passions" is my life line, because God he is my life line, he made this book come out so that people all around the world can read it..

I love God and God is Love...

Link to "Muses of Wandering Passions"