You're My Soul Flame

Love Letter 3

22 Dec 2011

If you out their love please come and find me and bind our souls together. Its that time of the year again, I always find myself in moments where I know I've found you already that you just a touch away from me, that you've already reached out to me.  Baby at night late in the wee nights when the world is asleep I lay awake and I see you, I feel you are out there, that I am not just chasing a rainbow or a dream, but you are truly existing in this life. That we must still walk into each other’s lives.

I picture us bumping into each other maybe in a shopping mall or at the airport or even might have met already and had been talking for years. We maybe stuck in some situation right now where you are unhappy and hoping she wouldn't leave you or you might be like me who is single and still wondering if soul mates exist in this day and age.

To be honest I do I believe that there's someone out there for each one of us. That we will come into each other life at the right moment. Perhaps you're with someone that you can't love, but are staying just so you could feel someone near.

I know all this might sound insane. But you're out there my true love, my soul mate, and my destiny.

I'm going to love you till God separates us; I'm never leaving you not for anyone.

If my career takes me away from you I'll choose you, if yours take you somewhere else, I'll move with you, because I believe you were made for me.

I was meant to go on a search to come back and find that you're my true love, my love of my life, nothing can tear us apart.

I'll read you poetry, I'll write you the most beautiful words, but I don't want to just give you words I want to show you my passion, my desire, I want to let you in completely without holding back.

Tonight I've cried for you. Its hard when you out there and yet I'm all alone, as my heart keeps on believing I'll find you.

You the woman I want to grow deeper in love, I want to be inspired more by you. Your voice sounds like an angel's. Your face all of you as I lay my hand gently on your heart feeling how it beats under my palm.

No matter what people may say or think. I will go on believing that your are my one in a million. My everything. All I need is you.

To my beloved

Something Missing

I am sitting with all these thoughts inside of me, I want to steer them away from me, but its hard to do.
There's a reason for feeling like something is missing in your life...
It's your heart, mind and body letting you know that you are not complete. You feel it as a lack of passion and sense of purpose.

Without natural passion and purpose you begin to feel empty. The activities you engage in seem to be little more than routines. You're on autopilot and not really present. Time goes by and you feel as if nothing of any real value is being accomplished in your life.

There are two categories of people who share the feeling that something is missing:
Category one: You have a wonderful husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, kids, great friends and family relationships. Overall, life is good.
Category two: You don't have the kind of relationships, family interaction, friends or lifestyle that is right for you. Overall, life is not good. By the time you have become well entrenched into category two, you are so far from your genuine self that you may be in serious denial of your situation.
When I look at these factors I fall in category 2:

Whether you fall into category one or two, much of your time is spent going through the motions. You feel disconnected from your life and find yourself attempting to fill the emptiness you feel, with distractions.
You will do just about anything to kill or bury that lingering pain...The feeling that something is missing screams for your attention. The way you deal with it is to run away from it. You seek out relationships, things and experiences,which give you only temporary relief. Then you run again, looking for the next distraction. Only to find that it too was empty. You don't stop running until one day you finally hit the wall...
 I always seem to run away from something, looking for an exit.

I see myself in these text. I do it without realizing that I go from relationship to relationship to find out its not what I want. Just looking for  a quick fix to distract me from the real truth. The fact that its within me that I need to search. I've been searching from the far corners of the earth and still after five unsuccessful relationships later I'm still lost, nothing can fill me. I'm chasing after  a smile, happiness that I thought people could give me. But its not what anyone can do that can complete me, is the joy I need to seek within me. What's missing is ME.


You've been looking everywhere except the one place you will find the answer: Within yourself.
If you are a category one person, maybe everything in your life isn't exactly perfect but life is pretty good. You're a person who is stable, responsible and tries to make the right choices. Your life appears to be going in the right direction. Yet that pervasive feeling that something is missing haunts you day after day.
Both category one and two share one thing in common:
You feel that you are an observer rather than a participant in your life.
When you disconnected from your true self, you are going to feel as if something is missing because you are missing something... YOU!...And the passion that naturally comes with being your genuine self.
A life of appearances
Living a life in which you appear to be doing the right things is very different than living a life where you are actually doing what's right for you. They are not the same thing. Especially if what you're doing with your life is attempting to meet the expectations and standards of your family culture.
There is also the pressure of the larger world we live in.For many families, how they are perceived by the "outside world" may be more important than the needs and aspirations of the individual family members. This means a family culture may have a set of "ideals" which reflects how they want to be perceived by the rest of the world. These ideals are what largely determines what you believe your choices are: Everything from who you marry, to how many kids you have, where you live, the type of job you have and the church you go to.
Even if you managed to achieve each one of the "ideal standards" of your family culture, at the end of the day, you are surprised to find that you are not really happy ...Something is still missing.
The downside of family culture.
Family culture can often exert a pressure that sometimes has disastrous consequences: The relentless striving to be perfect or live up to some ideal, which is in conflict with your genuine self, can cause a severe emotional stress resulting in depression and even worse. Not feeling good enough or not quite living up to the expectations of your family culture puts you into conflict with your self. The problem is, you have more experience and rationale to back up your family's expectations.
On the other hand, you've had so little experience with the needs and wants of your genuine self that the internal struggle becomes one sided. All the reasons for the striving shift toward the side of your family culture. It's difficult to ignore those expectations, because of years and years of emotional and intellectual conditioning.So you are left with the feelings you have inside which cannot yet be expressed verbally or with a level of reasoning that can compete with the rationale that comes from years of family cultural "programming".
You have had so little experience living life and making decisions from your genuine self that you find yourself feeling indecisive ...Uncertain about your knowledge and abilities. In essence, you don't trust yourself.
You don't feel passion for anything because the feeling puts you in conflict with the cultural expectations. So you stop trusting the feeling ...Instead you learn to "motivate" yourself to engage in safe non-conflicting situations and relationships.

Motivation is not inspiration
There is nothing sustaining about motivation. Passion and inspiration are a source of sustaining energy which continue to increase over time until that which you have engaged in, manifests itself in your life. Passion has "follow through"... Motivation has "let down".The confusion between Passion and Motivation.
I often hear from people who tell me that they have passion in their lives but still feel as if something is missing...
My only response to this is that they do not have passion in their lives. If they did they would be fully immersed in the life journey that passion has led them to.
And their journey would not be plagued with indecision and self doubt! There is no feeling that something is missing when your life is moving in the right direction. Passion is the primary indicator that whatever you are doing is bringing you closer to fully realizing your genuine self. Therefore, passion does not fall short in supporting and providing whatever is necessary in your life for you to accomplish that relationship or situation which brings you closer to your true self.
My therapist have told this to me, and I do understand that what I was searching for isnt out there yes I can find love in every person I come across, but its not somebody that can complete me, it is what is missing within. I have searched and searched thinking all these relationships can distract me from what is already known, that I do feel most days like an empty vessel walking around this earth, i first thought if i follow my heart and accept God inside of my heart and soul, I will feel complete, but even after that I still dont feel connected to that thing I am longing for, its within me.
For many people, it is how they define passion that creates confusion.
For me, passion sustains the energy necessary, supports the confidence necessary, provides the knowingness necessary, and allows you to recognize the opportunities necessary to take the next great adventure in your life.


 When you live on earth, you will sense a disconnection from God, where you feel he is far away. This disconnect leaves a hole in your heart that nothing else can fill. A lot of people look for ways to fill that hole, but they look in the wrong places. Why? Because they don’t know they should be looking for God. In today’s verse, Job described it as being like someone lost in the desert searching for water.
When you have passion in your life you are not running away from yourself.
You are taking a journey into yourself.
Feel like something is missing in your life? Just close your eyes and step inside.

The day you run out of excuses
is the day your life changes...

A Xmas Gift from Dha

Sana Ngayong Pasko

SANA NGAYONG PASKO
Hopefully This Chritmas

Pasko na naman ngunit wala ka pa
Again, Its Christmas yet you’re not here
Hanggang kailan kaya ako maghihintay sa iyo
Until when will I have to wait for you
Bakit ba naman kailangan lumisan pa?
Why did you have to leave?
Ang tanging hangad ko lang ay makapiling ka
All I desire is to be with you.
Sana ngayong Pasko ay maalala mo pa rin ako
Hopefully this Christmas you would still remember me
Hinahanap-hanap pag-ibig mo
Longing for your love
At kahit wala ka na, nangangarap at umaasa pa rin ako
And though you were gone, im still dreaming and hoping
Muling makita ka at makasama ka sa araw ng Pasko
Once again to see and be with you on Christmas Day..

Author Note: Not written by me but given to me by someone close, its in tagalog and english..

Freestyle

Freestyle

I’m a poet I glide through life

Using words as my weapon,

I come across different humans

Each and every day on my path

I look at them not with who are you,

But I see what most don't see,

I see pain, hearts being broken,

Families torn apart by abuse, alcohol

Just to name a few,

We walk around as broken people

Searching for someone to see us

To really see us what we all about,

Yet we keep our true selves

Hidden by wearing a mask.

I see a tear drop fall from a woman's eyes

As she's lost her home and husband,

I see her living on the streets with her teenage daughter,

I see other living under boxes

Sleeping on pavements,

I asked God inside my heart

Keep them safe at night,

I see little kids asking for money

As they buy alcohol or some drug

To kill the hunger or to keep the

Pain that lies underneath.

I’m a poet with words,

I'm just a lady, someone's daughter, someone's friend,

Someone's hope,

But I ask myself each day

What is broken inside of me?

Where does my hope come from?

I look up to the sky

And there is my answer.

I am not perfect,

What I see and what I endure

Each living day through my eyes

Is heartbreaking, heart nerve wrecking,

Seeing girls selling themselves

On the side of the streets to men.

I am not perfect I'm just a humble

Person going about her life.

 How many of us don't see the pain,

But all we do is walk the other way

And pull up noses,

The justice in this world

Are outrageous, Christian people?

Being ignorant because

The family next door to them

Has a gay son or daughter,

God teach is love

Yet Christians feels hate

In their hearts against

The innocent girl

Who’s confused about her sexuality?

I write this not to preach,

I'm not perfect,

But God loves me

Who's created me?

He designed me exactly how I came to be.

Yes I am a gay individual.

I've learned to love me as I am.

I won't let ignorance and hate

Destroy the love I've found for myself.

I’m a poet but I'm also human.

Poetry Picnic Week 16: My Life in Free Verse

Love In A Medley



Love In A Medley

When I look into your eyes

I see a love that transforms me,

I see the good weighing out the bad.

When I look into your eyes.

I see your smile shining through.

When I look into your eyes.

I can see our future.

I

Carry

You everywhere

I go.

I keep you safe inside

Of mine.

Where I know that you

Will always be close by.

I

Carry

You everywhere

In my heart.

When I look into your eyes

I find a medley inside

Of my soul that yearns

After your love.

You give it

To me freely

Like a heart served

On a silver platter.

Love I wouldn’t falter

Our love.

Distance and separation

May have split us,

But I will never give up

On loving you

On giving up

On

Our love.

We walk a journey

Together to find a

Love of Medley

Inside our hearts

Binded together

Where no other

Can divide

The love we have

For each other.

Copyright C Davids 2/12/2011

 Thursday Poets Rally Week 58 (December 15-21, 2011)

Thank you to Poets rally for the award, i nominate Mindsinger for week 59

Reviews from my fellow poets/readers Allpoetry

I WANNA SHARE SOME OF THE AMAZING REVIEWS/COMMENTS I HAVE RECIVED THROUGH 2011

• on Finding Feather On Your Path

Again the knowlage you have shows and how many gifts you have in writing I've been told this by someone and I don't think I am. And I agree with you in this that the true journey for god is like this. But what made me think is how does my journey end I guess that's up to me. Thanks for sharing.

• on After The Rain(Gold)

This poem is a gift that you wrote and you gave it to everyone who reads it. I'm really, really proud of you with this everyone you write. You show true talent and gifts with this. If I wrote this kind of poem I would share it also I would also want to show it to my family. Sometimes when I write I want to show it to them but most times I never do. Because of one reason I think I can do better. With this you don't have to feel this way I'm proud of you and how far you"ve come.  Its a hard road to be on and it sounds, like your coming along good. In moment like this I want to save this kind of poem not to gain by it but save it so I can read it anytime I want.
 The whole poem itself is magic it shows how you payed attention how you realized that its not only god speaking you show capture what happened. I had an experance like this and never wrote it down maybe I should but? I want to capture what happened, and how it made me feel. Your one smart woman again I'm proud of you and thank you for sharing. You made my day even better.

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• on Finding Feather On Your Path

Thank You for Your entry: Finding Feather On Your Path
I'm Honored-Humbled You took time to pen for my contest
This is how Your Verse touched Spirit~ Very Interesting First Line for I was drawn to reference of -...symbolic feather- & for some reason kept getting Pocahontas but the feather per say [in Mind] was extended with Meaning
of some sort... given from a Sacred Bird~
when I digested Line: Most said it was a figment of her imagination
kept getting in Thought as if Others may not have Understood the Value of such Gift Others might Interpret what You have written One way while I another but this is how I am led to Comment
Not Life threatening but noticed in this Line: of philosophy that she would
Also here: but she is the messenger.
that the Other Lines started with a Capital but these Ones did not~
Wanted to bring forth for Your review
After reading again~ I was moved to: They call her one of the many fables
which brought to Light-... as if she could tell Stories or her Life might have been like a Story of Many Tales.
Finding Feather On Your Path~ I am reminded can be quite Significant depending upon the Person's Perspective... but the Feather found... more than likely came from a Sacred
Treasure that once breathed of Life- that in itself a Gift from God for those who Believe
You inhaled Prompt & exhaled a Vision to Mind ~ Bravo!
Appreciate Your Talent Best Wishes~Blessings

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• on After The Rain(Gold)

Wow awesome testimony sis I simply adored this wonderful poem and was so deeply touched by your words.I need to hear these words this morning.I think this is one of your best Chim.You are so right Chim as you said in your author notes here:   Ask for help. Help may come in human or divine form. It may be seen or unseen. Ask, and ye shall receive.Also here as well simply was touched in my heart once again here:As I'm looking towards the clouds

I saw a sad face, and I ask myself
Are the cloud angry, but my friend?
Said no honey, that is the face
That God has when you were sad,
He wanted to stop your sadness,

Jesus sorrows with us He is touched by our sorrows as well.Simpy adored and  for your entry.Thank you for sharing such and uplifting song as well and my very best to you in contest.

• on After The Rain(Gold)

Hi Chimnese. I'm very moved by your poem. I've read it a few times now, & the more I do, the more I'm glad I did. I'm currently in the eyewall of the hurricane, so to speak. Perhaps I should ask for help, because my ship is metaphorically taking on water. Your poem has thrown me a rope to hang on to for a while. Things have taken a severe emotional downturn for me lately as the woman I love, & have done for the last twenty years, has walked off into the sunset without a backwards glance. Still, maybe there's light at the end of the tunnel -  eventually. To say this is a good poem would be an understatement!

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• on Pushing people Away

This comes straight from your heart. You've opened it for us and let us see your pain. It takes a lot of courage to admit your mistakes. I hope you'll find someone you can trust with your heart soon. Thanks for sharing this with us. It's very emotional.

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• on After The Rain(Gold)

Wonderful images here carry the mind with the music and it becomes a reality in your heart. To be one with the natural elements and real storms gives you a picture of mental ones that come unbidden.

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• on After The Rain(Gold)

wonderful!!  you poem has the effect of carrying the reader into the storm that you were in. Your faith and trust in God is your fortress - a very good narration of a sequence of events.

• on Finding Feather On Your Path

Oh this is beautifully written. I loved the title and the first line to the last. You know it reminded me of Forest Gump the movie. That peaceful feather just floating gently within the breeze.

This is a beautiful vision and I thank you for sharing your gift to write poetry with me.

Blessings Always,

• on An Epic Love Tale

Love and letting go- wonderful and painful.  You present the pain and suffering in balance with the love and longing- which makes this a wonderful and heartfelt read.  So difficult to feel so much and have to let it go...  this is heartbreaking and beautiful.

• on An Epic Love Tale

Poignant write, with pathos streaming throughout and the sadness is palpable as you transcend us immediately by all you pour out.  Your flow is smooth which lends to easy line wrapping, coupled with a relatable theme and good line structure... well done.

• on Wreckage(HM)

We sometimes express what we feel as our emotions

may run wild at times; it has become a time for healing,

that which the soul yearns escape to confinement experienced

Love the prayer within this lovely poem

simplistic in essence and yet ripples of significance

grows wider than pure self confession

Good luck in the contest

Many Blessings

• on The Poetess

O my Chim,

This I believe is true about poetess you painted and captured a picture of each of us in all your lines in so many different ways we are alike.Sadness spills from our own hearts the tears that bring out in others their own sorrows as we reflect on the words and the nature of each poem we pen.Poetry is a way of releasing our fears, our hurts, our troubles, our tribulations and our joys as well.This was beautiful and brilliant as well loved how you captured my mind I saw myself in different places throughout the entire poem.Excellent write Chim, and you amazed me with your lovely imagery and rhyme scheme it is flawless. Another sad but beautiful piece.

The love she thought was meant for her left.
She sits in her countryside cottage
With tons of books piling up.
She has given up of finding love,
Of embracing someone in her warmth.
She has grown older as her once upon a time
Brunette hair is turn slightly lighter.
She kept her heart to herself never letting anyone close.
Grown into the woman she always knew she would.

These lines were what I could so much identify with above. Loved!

Luv and peace

Sharon

• on Here's To Love (Bronze)

You did a wonderful job on keeping up with the diary...your words...heartfelt..touching...the end..sad...wow...a powerful piece...thank you for your entry...best wishes in the contest...

• on I’ll survive you

I'm glad you have both set the resolve to live on and that you have penned your thoughts and emotions into this excellent poem.  It does hurt, My Special Friend, more so than perhaps anything else we will ever know & yet life can continue and we can evolve into something wonderful...you are well on your way & that makes my heart smile for you.

• on The Poetess

This is such a true poem. The amount of poetry I have read that cries from the page; of lost loves, unrequited love etc. Why is poetry about people so sad? I know it's a sort of therapy - releasing one's emotion onto the page, but there must be some poets who are happy & in love - surely. You have a gift for cutting to the heart of the matter. Well done. Thanks for a wonderful read.

• on Pages of You

Its hard to let go and say goodbye when your heart doesn't want to but your head is telling you its the right thing to do. I was once told by some-one very dear to me that to hold on is wrong because its being selfish and only thinking of myself and my own needs rather than their needs. This person was some-one i cared for deeply and was diagnosed as terminally ill . He wanted me to walk away and not see his weakness, not see his illness take him, he wanted his dignity to the end. Yes, the saddest thing in this world is loving some-one who used to love you , and having the courage to let go and not be selfish, think of them and their needs. I can relate so strongly to this . You write from your heart , Kiara

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• on The Poetess

OMG !!! This is just wonderful . It feels like i am reading about myself but only somehow along the way destiny stepped in and changed my fate allowing me to be loved and no more alone. I love the ending ' That when they sighs and cries escape them.
That there only hope was beautiful music' Simply beautiful write , Kiara x

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• on Decisiveness of negativity

Chim you really related the negativity and the depression here. I have to agree that it robs and deprives one that is depressed of any happy emotions and yes when one feels like this it is unnerving to hear or see someone else smiling or happy all of the time. but as you say here this is where God steps in especially if you fall on your knees and ask Him to deliver."Jesus is a Healer and Satan is a Killer"
Thank you sweetie for this sincere heartfelt emotionally inspiring entry. have a Blessed and happy Day.

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• on Here's To Love (Bronze)

I LOVED IT.!!!!! For a while now i have been trying to find the perfect way to describe how i felt about love...and it never seemed to come out right. But this really spoke to me. BRAVO.!

• on Here's To Love (Bronze)

I understand your emotions maybe more than you realise for I like probably a million other people have been there too, Your emotions and words from the heart is what really makes this piece, Kiara

• on Unexpected Emotions

This is heart wrenching! I just want to reach through these lines and give you a hug The pain in this is just wow!! (Even though you do have a couple of typos in here)

What a great job you did on this one!!

and love

Nyetta

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• on Here's To Love (Bronze)

• Oh Boy!!! I know those feelings only too well They are truly heart wrenching! I know, I have been there, and now, I am back with the one that I love more then life itself. Yes, it took us almost 12 years to start talking again, cuz the hurt was just that deep. But seeing each other at our son's wedding 2 yrs ago, was the beginning of something new, wonderful, and beyond my wildest dreams. I guess what I am saying hon, never close the door completely, leave a tiny crack there, if you still love this deeply. I thank God everyday that my love did just that...
  
  The emotion in this is truly heart felt and pain filled. I honestly felt as if I was intruding on something very private and yet wonderful as I was reading this! Great job!
  
  Best of luck in this contest!
  
  on Here's To Love (Bronze)

Your finished journal brought tears to my heart and goosebumps all over, I felt like i was reading something written in memory of truths and i felt your emotion in every line, an emotion and memory that I too have experienced. This felt to me like a goodbye letter , yet it also felt like a death , I know through personal experience that  to lose someone you love , is really just like a  bereavement, for the things we go through hurts our heart just as if that person had died to us. Your journal touches the heart. I wish you every luck with this posting , hugs Kiara x applauded

• on Cry To Above (Silver)

This is a wonderful example of how faith works. You struggle but you keep your faith even though Satan does everything in his power to destroy you. He has been working on you Chim for a long time now. You see I see the depth of your heart and as I always tell you even though I know the battle wears you down hun. I have no doubt God will pull you through this with His love and grace and His faithfulness. I am always praying for you and thank you for this wonderful piece from you heart.Love you hun

• on Here's To Love (Bronze)

Weak knees, oh yes I remember not understanding that phrase until I too experienced weak knees Love is so beautiful when reminiscing on all the beautiful memories through many years shared. So often forgotten with the business of life. Of course life goes on and we must go one living in the day and thriving for future goals or dreams. Then to pull put and just stop and take a look back into memory lane is so warming to one's heart.

You write so beautifully and I so enjoy your style of writing to. Your expression of love is precious, So I say thank you for sharing with me today you have lightened my heart making my life feeling a little brighter at this moment.

Blessings,