Finding Hope After All This Time

Finding Hope After All This Time

In the last few months that I have been

Through all the hurt that others has caused me,

The hurt that was done upon my heart,

It scared me; it made me chose to close

My heart for the sake of never getting hurt.

The fact that I have done things in my past

That I know I have asked forgiveness for.

Wanting to always die due to the hurt.

I have come to do some soul searching

Some healing on my own in the last

Few months that I do want too meet

That someone special, I’ll be good

At being a girlfriend to someone.

My sister and I had this conversation

It went something like that.

“I may have lacked a lot of things right now.”

She asked me, “ like what?”

I replied, “Certain things I have missed

Through the years, like being her everything,

Don’t cheat; don’t make her cry, don’t

Get her pissed or never ever choose sides.

Never give her a chance to doubt me,

And to love her and only her.

Make her feel wanted, needed and treasured,

Make her the beacon of my life.”

As I am telling her all these things,

It finally hit me that this things is

What I should have done in the start.

She said, “good.”

I then said, “ things like that,

The little things that would make

Them know I’m truly devoted to her.”

I just then also realized that I do want

A future with someone and I know

I can make them happy.

For the first time in a long time I can

Actually see that future and for

That I do want to be alive.

I’ve never felt this way,

At ease with myself and who I am.

 © Chimnese Davids, All rights reserved.