Journey Home
I can only watch people pass me
by, and know in some way they leave you with something behind, perhaps a memory
or two. It's not about me losing them from my life, but it is a momentum of
having been apart of their journeys. Our journeys shapes us into the form God
wants us to be, to be able to fill our purpose in life. I am grateful for every
person who has had an impact or some sort of life lesson I had to learn from
them. People aren't meant to always stay in our lives, they do have other journeys
to travel, and like me the ones that has left my life, is God's way to clear my
life for new people to enter. We are not tied to anyone, not even our
soulmates/twinflames/love of our lives. I have shown them love so they could
carry on in their lives to show someone else love. In the depth of my
soul/heart I know that a part of these people who's gone will stay with me for
a number of years and as each day,week,month,year will move forward those
memories would dissipate, but I believe that one day when I am old and happy
with someone else that I have met along the path of my life, I will have a
smile upon my lips and in that moment I will have a memory of someone I once
loved and know that they are happy wherever they might be in their lives and while
I am off drifting overlooking the beautiful lake outside my window, my
beautiful wife will accompany me and tell me how beautiful I am. Even though
the years have stretched, I grew into a beautiful elderly lady in her early
sixties enjoying the peacefulness since our daughters and son moved on with
there own lives.
This is my story 31 years from
now, this would be my happy ending that God has promised me that one day he
will send me someone that he has in store for me. At this point I will be a
published author that has written books in numbers and that is the best dream I
know and certainly worth the wait.
It was one winter’s morning as she stood inside of her kitchen overlooking
the lake. It was one of the most exquisite views she has ever known. Especially
since it was all hers and she had no intention to share this lake with anyone,
but there was someone else beside her. Another person that she has met when she
was 31 years old. She was from London,
and the minute they set there eyes on each other it was love at first sight. It
was something that Autumn never imagines could happen to her again. Her heart
was broken after her first love has left and made a life with another. Even
though Autumn kept telling herself that Grace meant nothing to her anymore that
she has moved on people didn’t believe her. Reason why that was each book
Autumn came out with was a tale of a lover being jaded her heart on her sleeve
mourning a relationship that was once making her happy.
It was a blue eyed woman from London on her back pack through Europe in her
early 30’s that has brought the lonely novelist to change her life and hoping
that she will find happiness not just in her writing, but also her heart.
Jenna Huntington was 30 years of age never thought that she would fall in
love with another woman, but it was the slightly tan skin woman from a
different continent that has made Jenna believe that love carries no gender or
age difference, that love is what you feel in your heart and nothing or anyone
can ever take that away from her. When she met Autumn she couldn’t understand
how a beautiful woman like herself was alone and always deep in thought.
When I met her the first time at her
book signing whilst later I found out she was actually backpacking through my
country and also had an upcoming book she released. I have always read her
books and buying them online, it’s not that I didn’t know who Autumn, the
writer was, but it was days after meeting her at small pub not to far from
where I was working. That was the day I actually introduced myself and conversing
with her in conversation about literature, art and life I came to find out that
she was a deep person that she holds so many things inside of her. Never
opening up or letting another person to meet the indescribable person she was.
The effect to open yourself to
another allows you into another person’s world and opens you up to perceiving
their goodness. At the same time I was also investing apart of myself to her,
enabling to love her the same way I loved myself.
It didn’t take Jenna long too decide what she wanted from that point on. The
period that Autumn was in town they made it a point to dine and wine as much as
they could, with Jenna’s work obligations and Autumn pursuing a lifetime dream
of broadens her career world wide, London
didn’t sound like a bad place to start doing this at all.
When I met Jenna and found out she was
an editor and loved most of the things I did, I knew I was send here for a
reason I didn’t knew at that time, but this woman was predestined for me by the
most high. My spiritual life has been my only lifelong relationship as it has
never let me down over the years. At the age of 29 I had many things to
overcome as I was torn between my life and another woman, Grace. I have loved
her so very much, but it was inevitable I had to accept the fact that our love
story was finally over when she met another woman. It took me a year afterwards
for me to understand that sometimes love won’t last. There was a song at that
time, Poison & Wine that I came to love at that point because the meaning
of the lyrics spoke directly to my heart.
Sometimes you can love a
person, but also there are certain things within that relationship that didn’t
work out, so then you set out to live apart, but the love is ambivalent in
their love with one another. They are unable to live without one another, but
staying together is too painful. As much as they hate each other, they love
each other that much more. It’s an addicting type of love that they are unable
to control. The one manipulates the other and they both can because they both
know how to deal with each other, because as hard as it is to be with each
other it is even harder to be without.
With Jenna it was different, it was unexpected and it was what I really
needed in my life. My lonely nights was gone and forgotten because for the
first time she made me want to live in a new country knowing that I wasn’t
going to feel alone even when she was doing her own thing at times. Deep,
intimate love emanates from the knowledge and giving it doesn’t come overnight,
but overtime. Which means years after marriage?
That intensity you feel when you are in oneness with your own spirit and
that of another being. That is when I knew I have found my soul mate. We both
sewn the seeds of love and each time we say, “I love you” I can feel it coming
from deep within that for once in my life I have not just been completed, but
also that we both have grown spiritually connected.
Jenna has told me once this was just when we celebrated our 20 years
together as a couple and as parents. She said, “A relationship has its ups and
downs, but the downs can be really low and when you’re in one, you have three
choices, leave, stay in a loveless relationship or choose to love your spouse.”
I asked her which ones have she found with me.
She said, “Through everything you have been through in your life before me
had a reflection on who I would be marrying, but I saw something more in you
that the others never saw. They looked at your flaws and your imperfections,
yet still tried to change you into how they want to love you. But I love you
for all those things and so much more. Even when we do have our quarrels I know
at the end we still love each other and that is why I am here with you and
married to you and loving you for who you are.” My tears was falling down my
face because she loves me and she never once said any foul words to me, not out
of anger or anything else.
It was in this moment, this beautiful magnificent moment that I knew that
this is my “Home”, that this woman beside me is my life and the fact that we
are each others best friends and that God is our father. The realism of all
that was once said about love and the meaning of love that you can love many
people. You will fall in love with people, but there will come a time in your
life when you just know that this person was created by the most high.
Our Vows
Today I stand here in front of
all the people who love us and making this statement in honouring you as my
partner in life. I have always said that I want to write my own vows and tell
you how I feel about you, but I rather just say one word, “lost” I was lost
before I met you. I was always searching for one significant moment in my life,
and that moment was when I met you.
I found you Jenna, I fought
hard to keep you, and you saved me. The day my world became clearer was the day
you fixed my heart and in doing so I knew that people weren’t always going to
leave. You made me feel again.
Jenna’s Vows
Autumn today I am just stating
what has been in my heart since the very moment I have laid eyes on you. I
didn’t even know that the intensity of our love would grow into something so
beautiful, yet at times also confusing. I wont say that it has been an easy
walk till today, but I can say this that it is worth it and it will be a
blessing to know that we will be there for each other through out the decades.
This isn’t just a marriage, it is a lifetime bond that we have come to and we
will never be against each other, but for each other. We will lead God be our
counsellor in times of troubles and we will always make it our duty to honour
Him and bless our family. You’ve changed my life and I am glad that you chose
me to share your life with. I love you from today onwards.
This is my journey, my home into finding a love story that
was designed and created by God our father.
The End
