Today's Devotion- Thankfulness

I am thankful for what God has given me in the last six months. How he had change me from within, even when there were storms that I had to face in my own life and having to lean on GOD for my strength and for giving me a future, a life...This passover is my first year at my recovery. I celebrate life to the fullest since I have been given a second chance. God had remove people from my life and at that stage of my life I wasn't able to understand it all, but now I do. Because He had showed me how to love myself first when others couldn't. To be happy & content with who I am. To realize that it depends on me to get better to persevere and to live out my dreams that God had placed inside my heart. I started to declare on my own life, prophesying and believing that God has a purpose for me. A plan for my life not to hurt me or to let me down, but to raise me up from the depths of the pain & suffering.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Jeremiah 33:6 "'Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.

Our everyday life is a challenge, a pursuit to get to the next level of your spirituality, of the dimensions we travel as we go deeper within ourselves and in finding our highest self. The true me came to the light, from the surface of the place I have hid who I was because of fear of being vulnerable to the world I am living in. I am still striving to find myself and with each storm, test and obstacle life had put on my path, I came to see who I am as a person, friend and a lover. Who I am as a daughter, a cousin, friend even sister. I declare goodness over my relationship, my finance and my home and my family. Finding love after all this time and being loved back. My whole life I was trying to fit in, but all along it took just to look up to the sky hearing God's voice saying you are loved, needed, and above all you are special to so many, but most importantly that I came to be secure within my own soul, and heart and knowing I can Trust God to always show me the right path and never to give up on myself and those I love. God is my first love and having Him being the center of my universe I know I can't go wrong in life.

Rain & disorientation

rain wash over me and pour my sorrow out of me..........disorientated today...feel like i am standing in this rain that is currently falling washing over me as i drown in the droplets falling from heaven...remembering how we use to play in the rain...whilst people thought we were crazy to be standing in the rain...looking up above...the rain was our thing...it was cleansing us from the world's waste...you were my best friend...now I am just a girl watching through an open window from a first story building as the water falls down the pavement onto the parking lot... I can see all the flashbacks of moments in the rain...playing and chasing one another......that is what we had, we had fun together....i was always serious about life & my career, but you came & teach me something else, something I have forgotten since growing up and being independent was all I ever knew......I stopped having fun years ago...but then you entered my life & you showed me how to have fun again...how to laugh, how to be me in a world that always want to change me.....sigh...I can just wonder with a smile on my lips that for awhile I'll always have the fun times we had.....how the gardens became ours...how we'd sat & talk for hours not caring about the time...how people would stare at us weird, yet we wouldn't be bothered...you had teach me a lot of things how to be free and finally how to come out of my hiding & believe me it's challenging, but I know I can do this next step of my life...last night I couldn't sleep & I went & Google something about the universe & most of those pages I have opened up didn't satisfy my research I am not even sure why I actually did Google the universe, but for some reason God works through the web sphere & I came across a very informative piece & as I read it I saw my own situation I find myself in...Karma & Relationships...

This topic, extracted from Farley Malorrus' shows on June 4, 1987, August 12, 1987 and September 19, 1988, covered various aspects on the subject of Karma and relationships.

Consider that the Universe is a reflection of the self. As the self is the Universe, the Universe is the self. Meaning; that whatever you are as an individual, you can really understand what you have in your life by taking a look around you. For instance, the home, city and environment you live in, your career, neighbors, friends, family, and even the bum that lives in the park across the street. Everyone in your life is literally a reflection of the self. Also, if you feel that your life is a mess, or that you're going to die, and most things in your life are negative, scary and freaking you out, then you need to do some deep Soul searching. This aspect of Metaphysics is Karma because we create that part of our own Universe which becomes immediately sensitized by us. Which means that everything in your life is a reflection of you.

I have learned to become happier when I have learned to enjoy my solitude. The love that lies within my breast and plugs into the people all over the planet, instead of having to go out and find the people, I can feel them in my own apartment or right here in the control room. If I could share that vibration with you I think you could find the true key to happiness. You could plug into that God-force inside yourself that I am talking about.

Karma

 “It doesn't have to be on Valentine's Day. It doesn't have to be by the time you turn eighteen or thirty-three or fifty-nine. It doesn't have to conform to whatever is usual. It doesn't have to be kismet at once, or rhapsody by the third date.
It just has to be. In time. In place. In spirit.
It just has to be.”
― David Levithan

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.”

I am resetting the things of my past lives. Everything negative that I have ever utter out my mouth about what I am not deserving for where relationships is concern I denounce the negativity & release every past relationship that I have had, I bless them with good fortune, love and abundance that they will reach the desires of their hearts.

“If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. In the kingdom of love there is no competition; there is no possessiveness or control. The more love you give away, the more love you will have.”

I am sending good vibrations out into the universe as she is the only one that could find me my true mate. I want someone that would love me for who I am and accept me for the unique woman I am... I don't ask much of them, but to be honest with you and always to involve you with life choices...
If you are out there and the universe allow you to hear my words. 

I want to love you, to be the one that you can always count on no matter what. I don't just want to be your lover, but also your best friend. I want to grow old with you, raise a family with you. Just love me for what you see beyond the surface..We both are right now in a place that hasn't set us free from all the past had done to us, but today I am releasing the past and hoping my soul mate will come find me.. I am waiting for you, however long it takes, I hope our meeting will be soon as the spiritual realm would shift us and we meet at a place. A place we both would be at the exact moment as you would turn around you would see me and your face would light up, if I see this vision of you just by writing this then I know that God will allow us to meet at the specific time...

You will ask me something and I will answer you on that question.. It be the day where serendipity will bring us together I have a feeling we have maybe met already, but it wasn't ready for us to be with each other for us to meet, but now I know I will meet you on some day that our lives would have molded us for that moment.

  Love can happen at any moment and I am free from all my past relationships and the people I have been with..My heart will be open to find love once again...

Destiny & Fate
  “I told you. You don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their car. You love them because they sing a song only your heart can understand.”
― L.J. Smith

 “What's meant to be will always find a way”
― Trisha Yearwood

 “I wonder how many people don't get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to be with.”
― Fannie Flagg

 “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

 “Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible.”
― Lisa Kleypas

 “Sometimes the slightest things change the directions of our lives, the merest breath of a circumstance, a random moment that connects like a meteorite striking the earth. Lives have swiveled and changed direction on the strength of a chance remark.”
― Bryce Courtenay

 “Have you ever noticed that when your mind is awakened or drawn to someone new, that person's name suddenly pops up everywhere you go? My friend Sophie calls it coincidence, and Mr. Simpless, my parson friend, calls it Grace. He thinks that if one cares deeply about someone or something new one throws a kind of energy out into the world, and "fruitfulness" is drawn in. ”

 The universe is no narrow thing and the order within it is not constrained by any latitude in its conception to repeat what exists in one part in any other part. Even in this world more things exist without our knowledge than with it and the order in creation which you see is that which you have put there, like a string in a maze, so that you shall not lose your way. For existence has its own order and that no man's mind can compass, that mind itself being but a fact among others.”

Just walk closer to me and come find me...
From your future wife.....  :D

 “Even chance meetings are the result of karma… Things in life are fated by our previous lives. That even in the smallest events there’s no such thing as coincidence.”

Hospital Visit

Since my last post I have said that i met someone new and I did it went well, i fell in love with her and my life changed for the better..sometimes when we in our happy state we never doubt that it could have sadness or even sorrow, but we have to face the reality that there is going to be a bit of both...
My girlfriend is currently admitted to the hospital since I have taken her there on Tuesday, watching the person I love not remembering who I am or who she is..she has lost all her memories..
I couldn't go visit her the other days from being emotionally tired, but imagine how she feels being mentally,emotionally & physically tired of her life and I have been trying so hard to be the stable person to not give up..I don't think I would ever give up on her knowing that when I left her today the sadness was inside of my heart and wearing a smile on my face...
She was sleeping & I brush the of my hand against her cheek and she woke up... she looks at me and all I wanted to do was hold her and embrace her, but I couldn't do that even... 
the saddest part is to have enough patience and hope that she will come back to me after she had gained all her memories...

I miss you babe..I love you always...