Ranting my thoughts

Saturday Ranting 21 July 2012 

 

When I was a little girl I use to believe in magic. In prince charming, fairytales that one day I’ll find myself marrying my prince charming like cinderella and snow white and all those characters Walt Disney told over the years. To me that was the magic I grew up. The magic of finding love that last for a lifetime. Everything in my little child mind was about magic. I believed it in my heart that one day I’ll grow up and I’ll have that magic inside of me.
But then I grew up, into a beautiful young lady and I realize that the magic wasn’t real. That magic I thought was in this life in love wasn’t so much magic at all. It was something real. There was no magic wand, no star dust, no magic pumpkin, no princesses, no prince charming. Just ordinary people living an ordinary life.
But I’ve never felt ordinary. Inside of me I’ve never felt like people understood that I had my own magic. That God created me uniquely. Perhaps he did that to a lot of us, but for me ever since I was a little girl growing us loving to watch fairy tales and stories. It’s then that my imagination built this other world where I can escape to and there I can be happy living in my small magic world that I’ve shaped and formed with my mind. It’s around 12 years of age I’ve picked up a book and pen and start to write my first essay, it was at 16 years of age that I’ve written my first short love story. I’ve never even had a boyfriend then never loved. But it’s through the gift God has blessed me with that I started to write endlessly and carefree of love. I wanted to capture that magic I’ve watched in Disney movies. The hero and the villian and the damsel in distress. The beauty of how I think love should have been.
I love, love and romance. I’ve had a few love affairs I’ve fallen so hopelessly in love. It was like I was living inside my own soap opera.
Do I still believe in that magic when I was 12years old. To tell you the truth there was a time after I’ve lost my true love I didn’t believe love existed. I didn’t believe in fate and destiny and about soul mates. But that was six months ago.
Do I still believe in that magic when I was 12 years old? Yes I do, I believe love is out there. It will happen for me again with the person that’s meant for me. I believe that as long as I believe in my own heart and finding courage to face another day without sadness or resentment that love is out there and I’ll feel that magic come alive once I meet him/her.
That’s what I believe.